


Dare I Say Forever

by talesofsuspense



Series: Happy Steve 2018 [7]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: -kinda, A Dog Named Barley, Cabins, Communication, Domestic Bliss, Established Relationship, Fluff, Hot Chocolate, M/M, Married Life, Post-Avengers 4: Untitled (Movie), Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Retirement, Snow, Winter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-02
Updated: 2018-12-02
Packaged: 2019-09-05 16:18:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16814128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/talesofsuspense/pseuds/talesofsuspense
Summary: Steve and Tony spend some well-deserved time alone at their cabin.





	Dare I Say Forever

**Author's Note:**

  * For [danyslemons](https://archiveofourown.org/users/danyslemons/gifts).



> happy steve bingo is _technically_ over, but i'm going to continue using the prompts, because why not? so this is for the prompt: log cabins and camping trips.
> 
> this is also 100% dedicated to emilia, who loves fluff (hopefully this meets your fluff standards), and deserves a happy post-a4 stevetony ending.
> 
> credit to leondra for coming up with the name barley.
> 
> i had no beta so, all mistake are my own and all that. typical.
> 
> title from mumford and son's song "forever."

The snow is crunching softly under their boots as they walk. Steve can see his own breath on every exhale and burrows his nose and chin a little further into his scarf to stave off some of the cold. The air is crisp, stinging, and the wind is whistling loudly through the trees around them. Tony’s cheeks are reddened with the impact of the winter air, his scarf not doing much of anything from where he has it draped loosely around his neck so that it slopes halfway down his chest. Steve grins a little into his own scarf, reaching a hand over to tug Tony’s hat down further around his ears and over his forehead, flicking the puff ball on top after he’s done. He lifts his chin out from behind his scarf when Tony stop talking and looks at him so he can grin at him. Tony just shakes his head, smiling back a little, and shoves one of his hands into Steve’s pocket. Steve grips it in his own, rubbing his thumb over the back, even though Tony can’t feel it much through his glove.

“Barley looks like he’s having fun,” Steve laughs, watching as a furry, yellow blur runs around them in big circles, leaving pawprints in the snow. Eventually he stops a few feet in front of them, tail wagging as he takes off towards Tony, knocking him over into the snow so he can climb over him and lick his face.

“Barley! Enough,” Tony gasps out, laughing and shoving halfheartedly at their dog’s chest. Steve smiled down at them before deciding to help Tony out. He wraps his arms around Barley’s, rolling onto his back and tugging the dog with him, letting out a soft _oof_ when he gets a hind leg to the ribs for his efforts. Tony’s still laying on his back next to them, catching his breath. He turns his head to smile at Steve though, cheeks flushed, and Steve grins back, finally letting Barley roll away. He licks Steve’s face once before resuming his running in circles, rubbing his snout into the snow occasionally.

“Hey,” Steve says with a grin, reaching his hand out to grab Tony’s. Tony grins at him, scrunching up his face and nose adorably, his brown eyes pronounced against the white snow around them.

“Hey yourself, hot stuff,” Tony blows a kiss at Steve and he raises his hand to pretend to catch it mid air, making Tony laugh. “I haven’t made a snow angel in ages. What do you think?”

“I say let’s do it, angel,” Steve winks and Tony groans and rolls his eyes, still smiling.

They lie there for a few minutes, laughing and spreading their arms and legs to make two snow angels, side by side. Steve lays there, blinking up at the sky, arms outstretched at his sides. He can’t even remember the last time he felt so relaxed, like he doesn’t have a care in the world. And he doesn’t, really. There’s nothing pressing, besides Barley’s cold nose pressing into this neck.

“Did I ever tell you I always wanted a dog?” Steve asks, raising his left hand to scratch Barley behind the ears. He sees Tony turn his head towards him, a silent motion for him to continue. “When I was younger I was too sick and too poor to worry about caring for a dog. I used to give scraps of my dinner to strays in alleys though. Left some milk out for the cats too, when I had some to spare. After my mom passed away, and it was just me and Bucky, I still did it, but I had even less to give. Bucky always yelled at me for wasting food, but I saw him sneak bread scraps out late at night more than once.”

Tony lets out a surprised laugh and Steve turns his head to give him a tiny grin, “That does sound exactly like something Barnes would do.”

“Anyway, I couldn’t have one then. And then the war, and going down,” Steve swallowed, petting over Barley’s head and grinning at the warm tongue he felt against his cheek. “And then I woke up and there were more fights to be had. Plus living with a team of superheroes who could be called into action at any second, well, it’s not really the best environment to have a dog. I always wanted one though, I always had a soft spot for them.”

“Well, now you’ve got one,” Tony smiled, rolling so he was pressed up against Steve’s side and could reach an arm over to join in on giving Barley’s scratches and pets. “It’s nice, having him. I got him mostly for you, because you seemed like a dog guy and having something to look after seemed- I don’t know, it just seemed like the right thing. But he’s grown on me, a lot. Guess I always had a soft spot for blondes.”

Steve wraps his free arm around Tony’s shoulders so he can tug him closer and press a kiss to his forehead, “I love you. And I love Barley. You always strike me as more of a cat person, but watching you with Barley are some of my favorite parts of the day.”

“Oh, I am. And I mean, if you ever wanted to get a cat too I certainly wouldn’t complain,” Tony grins when he tilts his head up a little to meet Steve’s eyes. He groans when Barley suddenly steps heavily on his side momentarily before he collapses next to him, resting his head in the crook of Tony’s neck. “Barley gives pretty great hugs, though.”

Eventually Tony complains he’s getting too cold and stands up, offering Steve a hand up too. They call for Barley, who’d run off after he got bored laying there, and he comes sprinting back, walking in between them a few times before settling into pace next to Steve. They walk in silence for most of the way back, holding hands and swinging them lightly back and forth. It started snowing lightly a few minutes earlier and it hasn’t stopped. Steve can feel the flakes stuck to his lashes. The sun is just starting to set, soft pinks and oranges bleeding out across the horizon and reflecting onto the snow. It’s a sight Steve always finds breathtaking no matter how many times he sees it. When he turns towards Tony his breath hitches. He looks like he’s glowing in the golden light, white little snowflakes stuck in his lashes and the curls of his hair that are peeking out from under his hat. Steve had to beg him to let his hair grow out, but it paid off. The curls make him look softer, less tired, more happy. Though that might also be from the weight that’s been lifted off his shoulders, both of their shoulders, after all these years.

When their cabin comes into view Barley takes off running, kicking up some snow as he goes. Steve laughs and Tony just shakes his head, pulling out a phone to take a video of Barley barking happily and rolling in the snow outside their front door.

“Last one to the door has to make the hot cocoa,” Tony calls as he takes off sprinting, grinning at Steve over his shoulder. Steve just shakes his head, not even bothering to beat Tony like he easily could. Tony’s hot cocoa is always too milky.

When Steve gets inside Tony is setting more logs into the fireplace, keeping the fire going so they don’t freeze. He grins when he watches him tug a stick back and forth with Barley. Steve hums quietly to himself and he walks into the kitchen, grabbing the cocoa container from the cupboard along with two mugs. The mugs are so cheesy, so domestic, that it makes Steve’s chest ache a little. One has a pic of them with Barley printed onto it, and the other has a picture of the original team of Avengers wrapping around it. Steve had made Tony go to Walmart with him to get them done, much to Tony’s dismay. But Steve knew he was faking it, most of the time; they both liked to pretend they were normal sometimes. Like now, here at this cabin, miles and miles away from the city, from any paperwork that could possibly be needed to be one because no matter how much everyone claimed they were retired, neither Steve or Tony could ever fully stop. They just didn’t go on active missions so much anymore. And Steve was grateful for it. He wanted to spend as much time safe with Tony as he could.

He turned back to look at Tony as he poured the milk into the saucepan, stirring it carefully. Tony was sitting in the over-sized chair in front of the fireplace, reading some book with a blanket loosely draped over his legs, and Barley curled up on the footrest next to his feet. He looks small in the chair -- something Steve loved -- and Steve ached to curl up next to him. He watched as Tony wet his thumb, turning a page as his eyes flicked up to meet Steve’s. He shot him a small smile, the right corner of his mouth curling up, before his eyes returned to the page. God, Steve loved him so much his whole body felt warm with it. He blinked his eyes and turned back to the cocoa, finishing it up so he could go press himself against Tony’s side.

He poured the hot cocoa into the waiting mugs, walking over to where Tony was sat in front of the fireplace. Tony closed his book, smiling up at him and making grabby hands for his mug. Steve laughed, pressing the warm mug into his hands and leaning down to press a kiss to his forehead, unable to resist the temptation to run his fingers through Tony’s curls. Steve knew he was going to want to cut his hair soon, but he couldn’t bare to part with them just yet. He sets his own mug on the small side table next to the chair and climbs next to Tony in the chair, chest pressed against his side. He lifts Tony’s legs momentarily so he can put his own underneath, letting them fall softly back down onto his thighs. Tony is sipping his hot cocoa, practically inhaling it really, letting out a small pleased hum when he finishes. He grins at Steve over the rim of the mug before setting it gently on the table, moving his arm out of the way so Steve can finally, properly tuck himself against his side, hair tickling lightly at his neck.

Steve lets his eyes fall closed, letting the soft crackling of the fire wash over him, enjoying the feeling of Tony’s fingers scratching lightly at his scalp. It’s nice, being here, being away from everything. He feels warm, relaxed, at peace and balanced in a way his life never previously has. Not that he was never happy or relaxed before, but sitting here now, draped against his husband’s side fills him with a glowing feeling that no other moment can compare to. With his eyes closed, he imagines the feeling as a soft gold, one that starts in his fingers, at the very tips, and moves up his arms, stretches slowly across his chest before rolling like waves down through his legs. It’s a comforting glow, a feeling of safety, of _home_. It’s so different from the old, terrifying blue waves he’d feel rippling through his limbs on the darkest nights when he woke up panting, disoriented and unsure of where he was, just feeling cold. He felt Tony’s free hand squeeze at his own, as if he can sense what he’s thinking right now. He probably could, Tony got him like that, understood him at a bone-deep level that scared Steve sometimes. It’s one of the things he loved most about Tony, about their relationship, the way they could read each other so well, even after everything. Maybe everything they went through was the reason they could, or at least part of it. He sighed, letting himself melt a little more into Tony’s side, feeling him shift to accommodate Steve’s size.

“You know, I never really thought I’d get this,” Tony says, breaking the silence with a voice that’s soft and slow, rolling over Steve’s mind quietly enough that it took him a few tries to blink his eyes completely open. He lifts his head a little, slow so Tony can keep petting at the hair at the back of his neck. “Before everything, I was more interested in casual sex than anything substantial. Half out of deep-rooted insecurity, and half because of my own absence. I guess I got that from my father, not really being present where I should’ve been. A calm, stable family life was something I’d never known for myself, so I never really desired it. I never had it in my mind as a goal for myself. After, well I threw myself into building. Drove Pepper straight up the wall with how obsessed I became. It only got worse after meeting the Avengers too, after New York. There was so much to throw myself into, so much I needed to prove. Both to myself and the world. To my dead father.”

Tony laughs, it’s a little bitter, so Steve squeezes his hand reassuringly, not wanting to interrupt, but needing him to know he’s here, attentive. Tony squeezes back, lacing their fingers together gently and sighing, “It kept getting worse, _I_ kept getting worse. And I didn’t try to stop it, I didn’t really know how. Pepper and Rhodey tried to help, but you know how much I love pushing people away. I don’t really need to rehash all the details, you know them already. I guess my point is-- the snap was a turning point. It was like watching all that happen, actually losing for real, not just in my mind, made me realize how much I had deprived myself of life. Before then I was just gliding through it, doing what I wanted, then what I thought I needed to. Sure, I was happy sometimes. There are memories I wouldn’t trade for the world, but I never allowed myself to embrace it fully.”

“That amount of loss, well, it really makes you realize just how much you lost, how much was missing that you couldn’t lose because you never had it. I know you understand that too, you’re even more tragic than me. Look at us, huh? A pair of tragedies joined as one. Kinda poetic,” Tony smiles at Steve, it doesn’t meet his eyes but it’s still genuine and full of love. Steve leans forward to press a small, soft kiss against his lip. “But I’m doing better now. I turned it around, _you_ helped me do that. Which is the whole point of my rambling, really. I never knew just how much I needed, craved, a person by my side who filled all the cracks and added to me. I guess there was no one who could completely understand until you. And I’m so thankful for that. I’m so thankful that we can be here now, sitting in front of a fireplace with a damn dog like some kind of normal family instead of two semi-retired superheroes who just got done having to rebuild the universe only two years ago. It’s so overwhelming sometimes that it feels like I’m choking with my emotion, like it’s lodged in my throat and I can’t verbalize it. And then you come home and wrap your arms around me and it’s like you dislodge that block, you make it go away and I can let myself just be happy, just feel. It’s overwhelming in an entirely different way, an amazing way.”

“I love you,” Steve said, untangling their fingers so he could grab Tony’s jaw gently and pull his closer to press kisses all over his face, smiling when Tony laughed. “I know I should say more, say everything back to you, but you always did know how to steal the words right out from my mouth. So- I just love you, so much, Tony.”

Tony just laughed again, tilting his head to the side and resting it on top of Steve’s. Steve inhaled, letting out the breath in a content sigh as he snaked his arms around Tony’s waist, hugging him tightly against him before grabbing his cocoa, gulping it down before it could get too disgustingly cold.

Eventually, when their limbs are almost too heavy to lift and their mugs empty, Steve lifts himself, and then Tony out of the chair, patting his thigh for Barley to follow them as they trudge down to their bedroom. He manages to drag Tony to the bathroom to wash their faces and brush their teeth, smiling sleepily when Tony rushes back towards the bedroom. Tony immediately collapses onto the bed with a soft _oof_ and a sigh, slowly peeling his jeans and shirt off and tossing them onto the floor. Steve follows suit, sitting on the edge of bed and tugging off his socks, shirt, pants, until he’s just in his boxers too. Tony is already halfway asleep by the time Steve lays next to him. He crawls under the covers, tugging them up around Tony’s shoulders, letting himself curl around Tony’s back, resting his arm over his hip. The bed shifts when Barley jumps up on it, whining softly before he circles in front of tony, plopping down in front of Tony’s face and licking his nose gently. Steve grins when Tony scrunches his nose up in response, lifting a hand to pet pathetically at Barley’s side, his hand heavy with his exhaustion. Steve presses a kiss to his cheek, “Goodnight sweetheart.”

Tony lets out a small _mhm_ sound, patting gently at the hand Steve had over his hip, “Snowman and snowball fight tomorrow, don’t forget. Goodnight.”

**Author's Note:**

> find me on tumblr/twitter @wingheadd!


End file.
